Would you consider pretending as lie? Like pretending to do something, feel someting or think something? I would consider it as a lie because it is deceptive. But from another perspective, it can be a form of defense too. If you ask me, I would say that pretending is mostly purposeful, rather than reactive. So most people embrace or even like pretending and deceiving. But why? What do people hope to gain?
Pretending is boosted a lot by social media where we don't have to present our reality. We can deceive people there with the help of filters or staged photos or videos to gain followers. This can even be normalized as "being an influencer". I don't mean all influencers are bad, it is just the algorithms requires people to be a bit pretentious. Also, there is absolutely no punishment for deception on social media so you can "fake it till you make it". But even before social media, we had pretentionsness.
Pretending is also in the corporate environments, which are the cespits of capitalism, and it surfaced on Linkedin in the form of professionalism. We have "happy hours" to look like everyone is happy. We have catchphrases like "work hard play harder", which basically means, we seem to play games but in other times, we let you remember that you are slaves here. We have human resource personnel who ask "is everything ok?" and tags you as "complaining" when you talk about obvious problems. We have managers asking how you are doing to be polite, not to solve your problems or to listen to you. Maybe the manager actually expects you to "keep it to yourself". We have giant companies laying off thousands of employees in 2025 claiming they are favoring AI rather than people, but in reality, they are downsizing and sugar coating the reality to maintain stock market value. The inner corporate pretentious schemes can go on.
We have politicians and boy we know that politics is basically "professional Pretentiousness". I don't think I even have to explain it, the world of 2025 is filled with so called "we are one of you" people. Of course not all countries are same but the most influential ones are. Their hidden agenda is vastly different then what they pretend to care.
We have pretentious economy in Turkey since 2018. Economy is plummeting but officials are pointing out the narrow increments, the local maxima, to pretend like economy is doing well. I am sure a lot of countries have the same situation. But there is more, both national and global economy is pretending. Markets pretend that it can grow forever. There are wars and crucial environmental problems but markets ignore those too. We have AI promises a bright future while shadowing the environmental cost of it, and even the stagnated skills of it. World economies like to pretend because otherwise, fear takes over and markets would eventually collapse.
We have religious figures in all religions who are only enjoying capitalism, and in some cases perversion too, and preaching us about moral values or being poor but thankful. Actually, all religions had these pretentious deceptive people at some point. Pretending is part of humanity since the dawn of time and it is not exactly for protection. People tried to take advantage of the religious positions by pretnding to be religious.
We even have people pretending to seem happy in workplaces. Of course no one would look grumpy to their customers, but maybe a waitress is crying inside while smiling at you. Some occupations require you to have a positive outlook. This is tolerable and I don't it as lying, but it is probably hard. This is one instance of protective Pretentiousness.
Family members usually don't pretend in the family environment because it would stick out. But friends or love interests do that. People get married and realize what the other person actually is. People hide their true selves to attract others or gain advantage or hide the real intentions.
You must have seen these pretentious people: Studying 18 hours a day for an exam and claiming "I didn't study much". Being filthy rich but living like a poor person and counting each penny. People claiming to care about humanity and tweeting for Palestine or Africa or South America but also supporting the racist governments. There are Turkish people living in Europe or USA and claiming everything is fine in Turkey and still only visit Turkey for holidays and using their "establishment" in Europe or USA as an excuse to not to come back to this country.
The weirdest kind of pretending is people self-deception in some people. Like they are running away from their own reality because they can't stand it. Or maybe they think they can fake it till they make it like in social media. Maybe they think they can change themselves by "assuming" or "neglecting". That would never ever work because knowing yourself is like the oldest requirement for a human. At least, be true to yourself.
I say "be true to yourself and don't pretend" and some people may start a gender controversy. Denying your birth gender is kind of pointless in my opinion. Feeling like a woman while you carry male chromosome or vice versa, is up to you to decide and no one can judge you for that. But feelings won't change reality. Feeling like you are inclined to enjoy the company of the same gender is also up to you but test yourself thoroughly. I don't call the people of LGBT population as pretentious, but there are risks.
As kids, we have all pretended while playing. Pretended our toys are flying, super hero figures are fighting, or staged plays and assumed roles as doctor or teacher or parent. That pretending is absolutely not related to deception or defense. It is just imagination and it is the only good kind of pretending. But the Pretentiousness we see today is not rooted in our childhood. It is version 2.0 or something.
Being a good actor or actress is a skill and it is meant to portray some fictional reality. This is also ok too. We actually enjoy seeing a famous person in different roles. But also sometimes some roles fit some actors or actresses better than other roles. That means something to me, like there is an acceptable spectrum for a person to pretend. If you step outside it, it sticks out.
You should smile to people most of the time even if you are angry inside. You should be polite to others and even force yourself. I don't think pretending to care about someone's troubles is good, but still, being supportive is not a bad thing. At least show interest even if you can't do anything. But in real life, there are lots of people who can actually do things but they don't.
Insincere is the word I guess. Everyone knows a double faced person when they see one or experience one. But Insincere is different. Maybe you are not inherently or directly lying or hurting anyone, but we know the reality is different, and you are not even bothered by it. It is like everybody is fine with lies and pretending. It is like nobody wants to actually say what they are intended to. Or maybe humans invented a superficial language where everyone can speak of without being afraid of exposing themselves. Maybe people are afraid of showing their reality because of judgmental societies. Or maybe most people are telling lies, living lies and loving lies.
But I actually think pretending is harder than just being yourself, saying what you think or feel, doing what you want to do, presenting yourself as you are. I can't explain how but I think I can see the fingerprint of exhaustion in people. You can kind of tell a person having that inner peace by their aura. The pretentious people can't just let things happen and they intervene frequently.
Genuinely caring about things are diminishing in this world. Being honest is almost seen as an unusual thing now. Putting heart and soul into things are also seems rare. Pretending became some form of escaping the reality or lacking true care. We need reality even if it is bitter. We need reality to acknowledge and embrace and solve problems. We need reality to have peace with ourselves and our world. You can't pretend to learn. You can't pretend to create value. You can't pretend to read this blog post. See you at the next post :)
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