Have you ever wondered what one simple word means? I'm not talking about big words like destiny or universe or love. These words already have huge grounds to talk about. I'm also not talking about words like family or money or success. These words are constructed upon existing concepts and they are rather simple to grasp or relative. I'm talking about the words in our everyday sentences. The words that are mere summaries of the many meanings behind. The words that are slipping by in our conversations like ghosts. The words that we almost never realize how deep they are. Enough with the word word right :) I'm interested in one of them lately, and it is actually a concept to begin with. It is the concept of once. Believe me, there is more to this than you would think.
The literal meaning of once is something happening or required to happen only for one time in a certain amount of time. For example, you were 5 years old for once. Or you can say, once you are 13, you will get a phone for example. The key here is that you know these events can happen only once in your lifetime by nature. And the timespan makes this word very very strong. Another example, all the planets in our solar system can align once in a million years maybe. If you witness this, it is once in a lifetime event for you. But it is not the same for the universe, which is around 13.8 billion years old. In fact, it can be something ordinary from that perspective.
What i mean is there can be different angles to look at this word. Let me break it down into some key features. The timespan, the probability, the acknowledgement and the nature of the event. I will explain these pillars with examples and i'm hoping to give you more to think about this concept.
Probably all of you have heard this phrase in your life somewhere. It indicates some event happening once in your lifetime. This is the timespan that contributes to this situation. The nature of the event should not be able to occur again in this timespan. Let 's give an example for this, your birth. You can physically only be born for once and this is the nature of the event. The probability is already a 100% since you are already alive :) And you are aware of these facts, which is the acknowledgement. This is the simplest example for the 4 main building blocks.
Another exaggerated example can be a meteor hitting to earth. You may witness it in your lifetime and when you do, it makes the probability 100%. The event kills you, so you will not be able to witness it again. If you are aware of these facts, you can understand this is a once in a lifetime event.
What i'm trying to point out is that we use this phrase, "once in a lifetime", too often. But it is actually a big deal. You can't just say this job is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Or you can't just say some sale you catch on online market once in a lifetime deal. If these events never happen again, or can never happen again, during the whole time you are alive and everyone is aware of it, then it can be once in a lifetime. Always remember the timespan, the probability, the acknowledgement and the nature of event.
We humans are accustomed to the concept of time. So when we are talking about something unique, we usually mean once in a lifetime. That lifetime is usually and naturally our own lifetime. As i said in the beginning, this may not be totally accurate. Universe has seen billions of supernova explosions but we consider ourselves to be very lucky to witness one. It can happen though, there is a probability. If it was impossible, then we can't even say it happens once in our life. It is again 100% certainty for the universe but it can happen in different places inside the universe, so the concept is violated. It shouldn't be that easy to use this word.
On the other hand, i want to shed some light on the other side of the madalion. Let me increase the complexity of the subject. Our minds are designed to think in simpler terms and concepts. We oversimplify things. Suppose you are walking to your home after work everyday. You might encounter similar people on your way home, like a poor person asking for money or your neighbours. In this case, you would probably say "this is an ordinary event". You can even see the same people everyday and say the same things to them everyday. You can believe the same thing is happening over and over. But you are actually wrong. Because down at the molecular level, nobody is the same as yesterday. In this universe, everything is in motion, regardless of their situation. No matter what you do in your life, it will always be happened once. Because the nature of the events changes constantly, the timespan is like miliseconds, the probability is 100% and we know all this now :) I'm not going to talk about laws of thermdynamics here but you can easily prove that everything inside this universe can only happen once because of its nature. The configuration constantly changes. Ok, let 's go back to simple again.
What i mean is this concept is in our lives everyday and we don't even realize it. And i don't have go down to quantum level to prove it. Let 's get back to the street you are walking on. The pavement will see sunlight everyday, the people you talk will have 1 more day of experience everyday, you will have used energy to live 1 more day and thus using your body 1 more day. Even the moon is not in the same place :D The list goes on and no matter how hard you try, there is always something different today. That is why sometimes you witness surprising behaviours from the same people you know for decades.
Everything changes and it doesn't take too much time to do so. That is a fact and 100% probability. It kind of makes everything unique. And that unique nature brings more to the table. A lot of things in our lives are happening once. But you can't live your life by stressing out because of this. You can't see the world from this complex and weird perspective. This is not much useful or practical or beneficial. I agree with you there but i also have more phiolophical approach to this matter.
Example #1: You are working in a company and after 1 year you get a raise. Then another year pasts and you expect to get a raise. But you don't know that your boss decided to not to give you are salary raise for 10 years. You work for another 2-3 years and quit your job because of not getting a raise. Now looking back, you realise that salary raise was a once in a lifetime deal in that company you were working. Back then you thought it was an ordinary event. You didn't acknowledge the nature and therefore, you missed the concept of "once" there. That is why you have suffered for 3 years with the same salary.
Example #2: You witness Venus passing by between the Earth and the Sun. This happened in 2012 and will happen around 2117. From your perspective, you have seen a rare event. It was going to happen 100%. But you will probably see this only for once. You may be really healthy to live to see it again but that is a very long shot.
Example #3: You are in a surgery and the doctor is operating on your nerves. The doctor knows if he damages a certain nerve, you might be paralyzed for the rest of your life. Yes being paralyzed can only happen once but there is more to it. You don't know what can cause this. You don't know what makes the proabability 100%. If you somehow perform the surgery by yourself, you will definitely cause some damage. Then you would realize that mistake can only be made once. You can't paralyze yourself again.
All of the examples above is to prove that once is a powerful concept. It is not once in a long long time. It is once in eternity. You can't change the nature or the timespan if something truely happens once. It is not rare, it is unique. You have no luxury to miss it, if you want to catch it. You can't miss it twice. Most of the time, you can only break a heart once. You can only say some words once. You usually can only learn things for once, there is no unlearning something.
You can't always know 4 main elements that make an event unique. You can't just know that your car will be the only car you own. You can't know that you will never be able to see another shooting star. Once is both the first and the last. Sometimes you know the "once" beforehand. Sometimes you figure that out during the event. Sometimes you realise it after it is happened. It can be completely out of your hand and it lasts for eternity. Doesn't it scare you?
If you know you will never ever have another chance to speak about your love for someone, wouldn't you speak up. Or would you give up and let the opportunity pass by for eternity. If you realize you have a friend who will never be replaced, wouldn't you try to enjoy every second together? If you realize that you lost your ability to chose another job or another car or anything you own by making a choice, wouldn't you regret your desicions.
Long story short. I have been thinking about what this one small word can mean for a some time. As i said in the summary, the choice is free but the consequences can be pretty expensive. I can say that "once" is and has been a pretty heavy concept in my life. What about yours? Have you ever thought what was "once" in your life? You better start now and i 'll see you at the next post :)
Ayşenur
"Bir kere" kavramı üstüne düşündürttün beni. Geçenlerde, geçmişe dair suçlu hissettiğim ve kendimi incittiğimi fark ettim bir anıyla ilgili oldukça içerledim. Sonra dedim ki, milyarla hücrem değişti benim. O ben değilim ki artık, "bir keresindeki" ben versiyonumla işlediğim bir kabahat bu. Neden daha fazla kendimi kötü ve incinmiş hissedeyim ki? Şimdi senin yazını okuyunca da o minvalde çağrışımlar yaptı zihnim. Teşekkürler, düşünmeye ve üretmeye devam edersin umarım :) Sağlıkla kal.. Yeni yılda kendini daha çok keşfettiğin ve ifade ettiğin bir dönem olsun umarım.
Numan
Teşekkür ederim Ayşenur yorumun için. Amacım insanlara ilham kaynağı olup bir konu hakkında bir şeyler düşünmeye sebep olmak zaten :)